Three stages of the zombic condition…..by Ministry of Zombies

Three stages of the zombic condition….


Our dear friends at the U.K. Ministry Of Zombies have allowed us to publish some of their research!  They have some of the best professionals and highly experienced zombie hunters! Each fact here is to be studied and appreciated and examined with the utmost of zombie apocalyptic delight!  ENJOY!

Stage 1-fresh- a.k.a Noobs Newbies Inhumos..

  These corpses are those that have just turned and freshly joined the ranks of the undead. There may be visible bites or missing limbs  but equally may appear untouched and show no signs of trauma. Skin is typically greyish or blue but  in some cases will just be pallid,with a pale bloodless complexion.
Fresh zombies will by their nature will appear most human. Their movements will be less fluid but there will be few signs of decomposition.
The give away signs will always be an inability to speak and a total lack of liquid blood, even in open wounds!  In control conditions a Z will stay fresh for 1 to 7 days

  Stage 2-putrified-a.k.a Bloaters, Sickies, Pukers ,Fatties ,Bug boys

Decomp doesn’t function as a normal biological process in zombified as it does in normal cadavers.
The zombie virus somehow changes the the process by slowing it dramatically!
However after a time the Z will reach the purification phase (stage2) in which there are many chemical changes that take place in the body ,in particular a build up of gastric acid and other juices in the stomach cavity.
In most cases when combined with gasses within the corpse this will lead to visible swelling of the ghoul as the remaining moisture is drawn to the stomach area.
Sometimes this can lead bloating of the body ,leading to a more slow and bulky Z that typically attracts plenty of insect life and is prone to loud belching  and other gas releases.
In controlled conditions a Z will pass through this stage within 5 days and in some cases the change will hardly be noticeable. In favourable conditions such as high humidity or a walk climate,a Z can remain in this stage for weeks,even months.

Stage 3-desiccated-a.k.a Zeds, Dries Stiffs, Classics, Hippys

In time virtually all Z will reach this phase. By now the walking corpse will be totally dried with very low moisture content.
Movements will be more rigid and the skin waxy and prone to flaking.
Any nail or hair growth that may have continued immediately after death will now slow down and stop, ensuring that most classic Z’s still have long fingernails. Equally, many will be sporting a mop of straggly hair,which may explain why In some parts of the states refer to Z’s as ‘hippies’
In controlled conditions , corpses in the classic phase showed few, if any signs of decomp, giving them an expected lifespan of between 10/30 years,depending on levels of activity.it is estimated that these creatures can last 30+ years and it was also noted where there is no regular intake of ‘food’ the creatures just slip into a dormant state in which the expend little  or no energy
It is important to note that over time Z’s will increasingly be of this type.much of this analysis is of primary importance during the first six months post Zday . Dr Ahmed theorises that all Z’s will, under normal circumstances progress towards this later phase,but factors such as a hard winter with sub zero temps or a particularly humid and damp summer, could lead to the persistence of fresh and bloated Z’s well after this period

Thanks to Dr Ahmed and the ministry of zombies for allowing  us access to their research……

War Against the Walking dead
Sean T Page (out now)

For more information see   UK MINISTRY OF ZOMBIES WEBSITE  or Minstry Of Zombies on facebook !

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