Scientific Studies Show Breast Feeding Will Prevent the Zombie Outbreak!

Breast feeding can prevent the zombie outbreak in your childZOMBIE SAFE AREA scientists have made a massive discovery!  The nutrients in the mother’s milk prevent the brain from turning into a zombie. 70% of persons who were breast fed resist the zombie strain. 20% get cured faster.  10% were simply not lucky to get just bitten, but were devoured completely, so we’ll never know. This much is sure and Z.S.A. all agree 100% this is one very important method to protect the next generation from such disease. Not only the Zombie infection, but several other illnesses and gives your child a stronger mind than kids who didnt get breast milk. Who can argue with that? 

Now for my personal opinion why I urge all mother’s to breast feed, but I don’t find it appropriate in open public spaces. Everyone is allowed to disagree with me and a lot will. This is my D-Undertaker’s opinion only, not that of ZSA. Other Commanders may have different thoughts about it.  Breastfeeding is all good if the mother’s milk is healthy. In fact it is the best milk for babies.  The nutrients in the mother’s milk prevent the brain from turning into a zombie. 70% of persons who were breast fed resist the zombie strain. 20% get cured faster.  10% were simply not lucky to get just bitten, but were devoured completely, so we’ll never know. Not only am I for breast milk but I’m for breast feeding.  That experience helps shape the baby properly and the milk not for baby cows, or baby sheep, or powdered crap, but human mother’s breast milk is the ideal and from the real mother of the baby, unless again I say something is wrong with her milk.  All this being said and with the recent Senator from Australia breast feeding, and we understand she was only trying to make a point and I understand it. However I don’t understand the obsession of women who need to breast feed in public.  They say it’s one of the most natural acts in the world. Well so is pooping.  Should we do that in public also?  They say it’s beautiful. Well beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  I personally do agree it’s beautiful & cute also and around family, friends, at a private club, at home or in your own private office it’s all good.  More cozy settings also. Personally if I see some lady doing that in public, I wouldn’t say anything and if she is making a scene to get attention I would simply look the other way or leave. I would disagree with her doing that though.  Wrong place that is all.

Until what age should someone breastfeed, well that depends on the mother and baby, most people feed up to 3 years old. Some go on until 5 or 6 but I think that’s a bit much, hell some mothers go on until the kid is 20 but that’s shows a bit of a psychological issue with the mom who is too attached and wants to have the kid her eternal baby, the whole point of breast feeding is to give the best nutrients to the baby to have a better brain, something ONLY breast milk can do well, but suckling them until 20 will make them a bit psychologically dependent and a bit embarrassed when friends learn about it lol.  “I’m in college now and my mom still breast feeds me”  Yeah, that’s a great line to tell your buddies.

The second question is why bringing your baby to work? If you wanted an office job the baby needs to stay at home, forget the breast feeding but the crying and the need for attention will distract you from your work.  If you want to be with your baby 24 hours a day, then be a stay at home mom.  Some of today’s feminists will now say why not both? Well for goodness sakes this is why men will be hired and not women if this becomes a “thing”.  When you are going in public and need to carry your baby, for shopping to go in the train, plane or elsewhere, simple solution: Buy a breast pump, place your milk in a baby bottle and feed your baby with that! Voila! It’s far more appropriate then sticking your boobs lol even if they are nice boobs out even with a towel, plus if the zombies come chasing you might be distracted trying to pull back up your blouse, those crucial 2 minutes could save your life & that of your baby! There are even in some places either part of an office or restaurants called “breast feeding friendly area” Where moms can gather to breast feed. Hey for the guys, many of you will support breast feeding in public cuz you like the titties, not because you care much about the baby eating.

We all have felt this powerful urge to go back to a natural setting as the artificial ones have over perverted our society, but not all that is in natural form is ideal everywhere and not all that is artificial is bad. We need to find that balance, going back to the stone age won’t make us better people or healthier, living a plastic existence where only money and getting drunk exists wont make us happy either, we will keep looking for happiness either way, real bliss is spiritual, not how much of a vegan we are or how much meat we eat or don’t eat. Balance of nature and man made is what we need. Neither of which has been promoted properly, some are fanatics of artificial, some are fanatics of the natural. Both idiots IMHZO. (In My Humble Zombie Opinion)

Some things are just more appropriate in private as we are no longer living in villages where all that goes well with the scenery, unless you do still live in a village then yes by all means breast feed in public, you gotta keep villages authentic.

All that being said, breast milk remains the best milk for your baby, if you don’t feed them natural breast milk you are ruining their full potential and that’s not fair to them. 

Date: Saturday, May 13, 2017   By: Ð☣Ünder†aker
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